Of Earth Day, senators in underpants and missing parrots
In honor of Earth Day, April 22, I will tell the tale of seeing a senator in his underpants, a Nixon candle and losing a parrot named Fred that was trained to say, “I’m for Gaylord.”
First, the parrot thing? Not my fault. We’ll get to that later.
Sen. Gaylord Nelson (D-WI) served two terms and in 1970 started something that would become known as Earth Day.
His daughter, Tia, and I were bestest friends, growing up in the Maryland suburbs of Washington, D.C. We didn’t know anything from Earth Day or the environment. But we did know politics. She was raised by Godless Democrats and I was abandoned by wolves and raised by Republicans.
So, every time I spent the night, Mrs. Sen. Nelson, otherwise known as Happy (and she was), would light a candle in their living room that was in the shape of President Richard Nixon’s head. They’d light it and let it melt just… a…little…bit…more.
Now, coming from a conservative Republican family, I didn’t even bathe in the nude, much less work in my underpants. However, after Nixon melted a little bit more, Tia and I got the munchies late one night. We raced down the stairs, tore through the living room and screeched to a halt in the senator’s den, where he was typing something wearing only his undies.
I looked up quickly and Tia tugged me into the kitchen, which was our original goal.
And as for the parrot, Fred.. I was given the task of parrot-sitting when the Nelson family had to go back to Wisconsin. The bird was delivered, however, while I was out on my bike. By the time I got back, a young nephew, who shall not be named (Steve), opened the cage and the bird got out.
Potentially looking death in the face, I gathered my posse – the kids in the neighborhood – and what happened should have happened in Wisconsin. The senator might have been re-elected. Picture 20 kids wandering around the neighborhood, looking up and shouting, “I’m for Gaylord.”
By the way, parrots live a long time. If you hear, “I’m for Gaylord,” let me know.
